PRIORITIES DIFFER

This life ehn, this life…you’ll think you’ve ‘’jumped and pass’’ until someone throws you another one. So, some days ago, I was on my own ‘’jejely’’ and someone asked me a question…

‘’Madam, what are your plans now that the service year is over?’’ See me running my mouth and downloading her with my plans. You know, as a lawyer, working under supervision is very crucial at this stage, so as to build your craft and establish a solid clientele base. So I told her how before the service year ran out I had sent out applications and CVs to reputable law firms and how I intend to also go back to school in between and run some professional courses to broaden my knowledge and enhance my chances in the society, I also told her that I intend to take more intense classes on bead making and grow my hair business which I have already started on a small scale. I told her in the next five years, I see myself achieving all of these and many more.

I was innocently telling her all of these without looking up (because I was busy at my desk), but the moment I caught her gaze, I could see the look of disdain and displeasure on her face. Ahn Ahn! Warrapun? She had that look of someone trying to control her fart from making a sound. I had to ask her if anything was wrong. Her reply was that I had just spoken ‘’unwise words’’. That was exactly how she put it oh dear friends. *insert confused emoticon at this point*

So I asked what her reasons were…her next question would shock you!

She asked if I had a boyfriend and if he resides in the same city with me. I replied. Then I asked her what her ‘’boyfriend question’’ had to do with what we were discussing. She said ‘’in your five minutes career talk, you never mentioned him’’. I told her it was because we were talking career and not relationship. Two distinct topics. If she had asked about my relationship status and where I see it in five years, I would have given her a different answer and showed off my romantic side. *winks*

I made her understand that she couldn’t have asked her initial question and expect my answer to be ‘’…I have a boyfriend in Sokoto, since I am done with service, I am moving in with him and we intend to start a family there’’. I asked her what she would have thought if my answer was that. My dear lady wasn’t having any of my arguments still. She stood her ground that I had said gibberish. We went on and on on this and she tried to confuse  convince me, but, I sha stood my ground ni o. Everybody with what appeals to them mbok!

My dear people of God, did I say anything wrong? Did I answer foolishly really? Is there a problem with a lady being ambitious? What’s with this after youth service marriage thingy sef? Is it by force to follow the trend?

Please don’t get it wrong, and don’t misinterpret…marriage is beautiful, very beautiful. I look forward to it, but I have to put things in place before getting into it. By now, I’m more than certain that readers of this blog know my stance on this. I know well enough too that you cannot finish one before you enter the other. Career is a continuum, and so relationship/marriage has to come in between anyway. I know that too. I also know that these two are no guarantee to happiness.

The lady also said something about how all the money in this world cannot buy happiness. Who says marriage can? No guarantee jare. We all hope for happiness but we have to set things in motion and that includes fulfillment.

Priorities vary. People should know that. The fact that I decide to get married whilst still in school, and you decide to pursue your career and get married later doesn’t make anyone better than the other. We have seen successful career women, we know great sit at home moms, we also know women who have successfully been able to manage the home front and their careers. Thumbs up to all of them!

You’ll wonder why I am making this a one sided gender issue? Well, that’s because most women face this kind of attack in the society more than the menfolk. The reason may not be far-fetched. It’s general knowledge that men have to work and earn a living for themselves and their dependents (which includes their wives) and so it's just normal that they are career-driven. It's not the same reasoning for women, especially in this part of the world. People still are of the opinion that a University degree is okay for a lady, the next step in her life should be marriage and procreation. I don’t belong to that school of thought. Pardon me. I believe a woman can go further and attain more, aside the regular University degree (if she wants to). And I also strongly believe that doing so without ‘’side attractions’’ of a husband and child(ren) is easier and maybe quicker too. That way, your family doesn’t lack, and so also does your career.

Priorities changes with time. My priority now, may not be my priority in two years and that’s because in two years, I may have achieved most of my priorities now. So priorities would change then. You see? Lol.

Finally, so long as you and Le Boo are on the same page about your short term and long term plans, and you both agree on what works best for you guys, then, you’re right on track. What people say don’t actually matter.

Dear Hubby, don’t do slow motion now oh! It is play I dey!

So guys! What’s your take on this? Remember you have an opinion, and I am not always correct, so share yours.

Barby’s Diary is back! The break is over! Expect more juicy and interesting topics.

Mwah,
Barby.