USEFUL TIPS AND FUN FACTS ABOUT MY TRADITIONAL WEDDING

GUUUUUYYYYYSSSSS! How have y’all been? What’s the latest at your end?

Just finished the second phase of my examination, and I cannot be more thankful that it’s over…at least for now. I almost gave up at some point because it was beginning to become a burden, but all is fine now. I am a survivor.

Aside the examinations, I have been dealing with my relocation to Lagos, my new home and new life, and my upcoming nuptials. You can imagine my life right now with all these to process and handle. It’s been a lot, but I’m holding on. Sometimes, I need a break and want to run away from my life, other times, the super woman in me shows up, and I show ‘’dem’’ who the boss is.

Sincerely, a nice vacation wouldn’t hurt nobody at this point. Who has a spare ticket to Seychelles?

Since I had my traditional wedding, I always knew I’ll do a post on a few things to do/not to do when planning a wedding. Thankfully, I have a real-life experience to share with you, and I can say I had a successful wedding (so grateful to God, family and friends for this). Please see below -

1. PLAN WAY AHEAD: So, I hear people can plan weddings in days, they are the real MVPs. But if you’re not trying to test God or yourselves, I suggest it’s better to plan way ahead of time. Say, immediately after the marriage proposal. Now, I do not mean you should start booking vendors like 20 months before you even confirm a wedding date, naaaaa, that’s not what I mean. But you need to start scratching the surface…possible dates, number of guests, venue, budget, number of outfits etc. All these will become a base for you to build your major plans around. And trust me, at this point, there are a lot of decisions and compromise to make too, so the earlier you both are on the same page, the better for everyone.

2. SPOUSAL UNITY: Ok, I think I just cooked up that phrase, but it explains this paragraph so well. First thing your spouse and yourself should agree on is that the both of you are on one boat and it isn’t the lady and her family against the would-be husband and his family. Best way is the both of you on one side and your families on the other. So, you both agree on the number of guest for instance, and the family should be able to work around your number. It shouldn’t matter if they are the ones sponsoring. It is YOUR wedding and they should respect that. Never be against your intended spouse opinion in the presence of your family or your spouse’s. It’s an epic fail and they will capitalise on it. Your spouse and yourself can have all the battles between yourselves but the moment you step out to communicate your decision to the family, you guys MUST present a united front. Say; ‘’my fiancé and I have agreed to….’’. Never say to your family ‘’I want this oh, but that stubborn fiancée and her family thinks we should do it like this. I am so not having that’’. EPIC FAIL! United front, and nobody will be able to break through. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t consider your family opinions, but never totally ACCEPT until you have had the discussion with your spouse and you both think it is fine to go on with their suggestions.

3. PRAYER: You cannot rule this one out. Let me tell you about my situation then. There’s this myth around my hometown about rain always disrupting our weddings/events especially when the lady is the one from Ibusa (not the man). You hear ‘’it’s an Ibusa thing’’. I knew about this some years back, and I started praying from then on. I didn’t even have a ring yet! But I sure didn’t want rain disrupting my event when I did have my ring. Lol. My brother even reminded me a day to my traditional wedding about the rain. I rebuked him immediately. Aint nobody ruining my makeup and stressing me out like that on one of my happiest days. Long story short, the sun that shone on my traditional wedding could melt a mountain. No single drop of rain. Like, I literally had to dab my face every second. Thank God my makeup artist was around all day to touch up. God showed up and showed off and the Ibusa thing could not even dare!

4. FAMILY SUPPORT: No matter how super woman or superman you are, we all need FAMILY. It could be immediate family, extended family or close friends, we all need them on our big day. I was in Abuja till two weeks to my wedding, so my Mum was my major wedding planner and she outdid herself! I made a slight mistake, I didn’t invite a lot of friends because I was trying to work with the number of guests. Thank God for family who came to my rescue. You think you can do without them, not so much. You need them to help you with the vendor bookings and payments, follow-up calls, and on the D-day - tying your wrapper, or wearing your shoes, or dancing to greet the in-laws, or holding your bag, or picking your spray money, or little errands here and there. Trust me, you need them. The more, the merrier. It takes the stress off you. Delegate tasks and watch them slay dragons on your behalf. You just sit pretty and enjoy your day.

5. AVOID PRESSURE: Nothing in this world is perfect, so do not expect a PERFECT occasion, so you don’t burn your finger. There’s the possibility that your DJ arrives a little late, or your zipper wears out, or the drinks aren’t so chilled. All these may happen. Just ignore and focus on the major stuff; your husband and yourself. On my traditional wedding, my photographer arrives two hours later, so I had to make do with our phones and we didn’t get professional pictures of my dress up or hubby’s. that got to me a little, but I maintained my cool. My sisters were not available to dance out with me on my first outing (they were busy with other important things which my friends could have done if they were around), but I did not kill myself, I still danced out anyway. So, avoid anything that’ll try to steal your joy on this day (and every day of your life in fact).

OTHER FUNNY FACTS ABOUT MY TRADITIONAL WEDDING:

1. My outfits didn’t fit. It did when I went dress fitting with my tailor, but on the D-day, ALL of it didn’t fit at the hip region. I had lost so much weight (preparations and relocation wahala) and the dresses didn’t look so smart anymore. So, my team and I had to find a way…I wore a bum short under my outfit, to restore some fullness there. Lol. Please don’t look forward to trying this. Just make sure you try your dress one last time on the eve of your wedding.

2. I cried early that morning. Not because I was emotional about the whole event, but because my younger brothers had a misunderstanding that almost resulted in a fight between them, thanks to timely intervention. I cried because they could have avoided the devil. Let’s just say one person over-reacted (blame it on the preparation pressure). Dad came in and saw me crying and didn’t even pity me oh! He went all out on me. Like I was shedding crocodile tears and all that could have been avoided if we weren’t doing last minute rush. Oh, well…

3. Dad cried too. During my dowry payment. The strong man of number 2 above cried when my kinsman asked and I accepted the proposal of my hubby and his family. Now, this was emotional for me. Many childhood memories flashed through my head and I couldn’t hold back my tears for so long. But guess what? I did hold back my tears. Aint nobody ruining my make-up! (Nutty me, I know!). I love my Daddy though.

4. I was scared about my cake. The gist is, I got a nice vendor via Instagram. I have seen her work on IG and was convinced that she will deliver, especially since my choice of cake needed professional touch. Her price was way too expensive in my mum’s opinion, and Mum had already contacted her own vendor who was giving us a far cheaper price for the same choice of cake. I haven’t had either of their cakes, but I was more comfortable with my IG vendor. I had to opt for Mum’s choice last minute (largely because of the price) and I held my heart in my hand for the outcome. Lo and behold, cake looked and tasted so good. Mum still thinks I owe her the difference in amount between my vendor and hers. I’ll pay, let her wait till my last child’s first child, starts working. Fair, right?

5. My introduction date turned out to be my traditional wedding day. Let me explain. I got engaged in December, 2016. MJ and I planned our introduction for April and our traditional/church wedding for September, 2017. Fast forward to our discussion with my dad, and we had to choose fresh dates because of mobility of our family/guests. Instead of having the introduction in Lagos and bringing everyone down to Lagos in a few months for the traditional wedding and then travelling down to Delta the next day to prepare for the church wedding, we considered the logistics and it didn’t look pocket friendly and coordinated, so we had to fuse both the traditional and the introduction in one event, and then have months ahead to prepare for the church wedding. Everyone goes home happy. And that explains the looooooonnnnnnggggg time difference between my trad and the white.

I think the above pretty much sums up all about my traditional wedding. I’ll be back very soon with all the juices on my white wedding. And oh, there are a lot of good news to share with you BDs! You just should keep refreshing this page so you don’t miss out on the latest gist here.

There’s still a giveaway coming up. I haven’t forgotten. Blame it on my busy schedule.

And lastly, please put your Instagram account to good use this month of June. Join in the #HalleluyahChallenge by @nathanielblow at 12am live on IG. It’s a beautiful time to fellowship with the brethren and testimonies are rolling in.

Much love mon Cherie!

Barby.