THE TALE OF SEXES

I'll hate to call this an ''African myth'', even though I know that calling it that will be very convenient and help me find a befitting title for my article. I'm not one for stereotypes, and to generalize will be unfair to all those in Africa who aren't bothered about sexes. You'll also be surprised to find out that some people beyond the shores of Africa also believes that a male child is preferable to a female child...now will you still say this is an African myth? No! I think so too.

I'll use myself and my family as an example. I'm sure they know already that their secrets aren't safe with me again (hehehe), I'll just face my computer and write about them and mention their names too! Talk about poetic license...but when I'm serving my punishment for revealing too much family details, you people will not be there oh! Well done BDiarians.

Back to my story...I must have mentioned it somewhere on the blog that my parents have five children. Three girls and two boys and in that order. I'm the last girl. Now, the story is that, in our family album, I hardly see a picture of myself celebrating any major growing up event like birthdays, graduations and the likes. The only picture of me I remember I have (and which I cherish so much for its innocence) is one of me, say, about 4 years old and sitting on a couch with a straight face. You see, for my two elder sisters, their baby pictures are in their ten thousands!!! They have pictures for the most insignificant reason (not to sound hateful though, but...) birth pictures, child dedication, birthday celebrations, graduation and for a new dress, for a new shoe, because they have long, black and curly hair, fine face, they smiled or even cried, etc. They had all of these. Cute pictures oh! And then I searched for mine but I found just a few...maybe less than five pictures in which I was actually the person being celebrated.

Haba!
As I grew older, I asked my mum why that was so (I couldn't even ask my dad for fear of a hot slap). My mum told me that my dad always wanted a girl for his first child, so, I can imagine his joy when they had my eldest sister. My eldest sister was like his right hand, and everything was fine. And then, my mum had my immediate elder sister few years after. Gbam! Heaven's delight. Both sisters were twinning everyday and everywhere! They were my mum's fashion models. From the pictures I saw, you could tell me mum has always been a fashionista! My dad had his two angels and a wife beside him. He was enjoying the ride.

Some years after, my mum was heavy again. Dad had to work in Lagos at the time and my mum was in Kaduna. Mum had me and told my Dad, and it became cliché jare. He probably didn't see a reason to travel down immediately. My mum told me a preacher came to her bedside and was stylishly telling her to take heart for the birth of her third girl. My mum told her straight up that she couldn't be more happier for God's gift to her, Me. My mum specially named me CHINENYE (meaning ''God gives'' in my native dialect).

And that was why during my child dedication, my mum and her crew in Kaduna let their hair down (I saw the pictures. God bless that photographer for capturing my mum's heartfelt laughter). My dad couldn't ''make it'' to my dedication but of course, he had come to see me and had left before the event.

Fast forward to when my immediate younger brother was born, the pomp and pageantry that greeted his arrival was GRAND! We were closing our streets for all his celebrations. And guess who was always around??? My Dad. Bro was popular mehn! Very popular. He had full dark and curly hair like Wole Soyinka and we didn't barb it till he was way older, so he was always the centre of attraction and attention anywhere he went. The second boy came through too and it was business as usual as the first son.

The only cheated fellow seems to have been ME. Like who wants a third girl child really?

I've heard people say that your legs are stronger in your husband's house when you have a son? Huh? So it is no longer about whether you have a child or not, it is now whether it is a male child first. Don't even get me started on the number of marriages that has broken down because of something as insignificant as this! Who even says it is the lady's place to determine the sex of the child in her womb? You think only uneducated men think this way? Wait till you see a man with all his degrees screaming that he wants a male child or his wife will have to leave the marriage.

I don't know the rationale behind this ugly mentality...is it keeping the family name? Oh well, ladies now bear their father names even though they are married, some even add their husband's name to their father's name as a compound surname. No big deal. Or is it keeping the family property? Legally, a female child can now benefit from her father's estate. So what is it really? I wouldn't want to go into whether a female child caters more for the parents at old age, this can go both ways. So what's the fear with sexes?

IT'S JUST A MYTH IN OUR HEADS!!!

And it's part of our problem as a people! It's part of the sexist society we find ourselves in! It's part of the reason why ladies are treated as ''second class citizens'' in some places. It just doesn't make sense.

A child is a child. Male or female.

So what's your take on this? Do you prefer a male child to a female child? Cos, if you ask me, I don't really care about a child's sex.

Meanwhile, we have over 15000 pageviews on the blog now! Keep up the flame people!!! Thanks for the support.
Barby.