ANGER MANAGEMENT

Hi Darlings…let me report myself by myself.

This is simply a case of indiscipline, wilful negligence and procrastination on my part. I seriously don’t have any VALID excuse for abandoning you my Beloved all this while. Though I am trying to work on the blog and make it user friendly for all our visitors, I don't see that as enough excuse. It’s been over a week, and I missed you all greatly. How have you been? What have you been up to?

Over the past days, I have gotten inspiration to talk about Anger Management...Experience is the best teacher, so I have decided to use myself as an example. With this blog, my life is no longer a secret oh! I’m very sure that in a little time from now, you’ll be able to fill up all the tiny bits and pieces of my life. What haven’t I told you guys already??? My life is one open secret!

Ok, back to the story of my life…

At a certain time, I was an angry soul (pardon my French). Guess who was at the receiving end of all my wahala? Yeah, you guessed right. The slightest ‘’hello’’ could piss me off. It was that bad, or even worse sef. I threw things around – I think I must have had a broken phone on one or two occasions also. Maybe a broken chair too, and I must have emptied a 100litres drum of water because I was angry. Very angry.

Deep within me, I was scared. I was scared that one day, very soon, I may become uncontrollable, I may become suicidal or self-destruct. I think people around me might have been scared too. Maybe they were scared of eating my food or even being around me. Anyway, that was how bad it got.

I had to do something about it. So I prayed.

But before then, I had to get to the root cause. Now the first step to dealing with the problem is to identify the problem. I knew I had a problem, I knew it was ANGER. I identified where the anger was coming from. I was angry because people misunderstood me. I was angry because I was adjudged below who I was and what I stood for. I was angry because there was little or nothing I could do to help my situation. I was angry because people who I thought would stand by me were against me. I was angry because I believed in what I was doing, but the world didn’t think so... My anger was a defensive response to my vulnerability, powerlessness and frustration.

I was weak, I fell ill, I lost weight, I was disconnecting with my environment. So I told myself I couldn’t continue that way. I wasn’t created a beast. I am a lady and I was raised well. I decided to be at peace with myself first and forgive all those that had hurt me. I made up my mind that I couldn’t reply everyone verbally, or try to convince them to be on my side, the only solution was to convince them with my actions, and prove them wrong in the long run.

I stopped living my life to please everyone (you really cannot, you’ll hate yourself and all around you if you try to). I started doing me. Doing things I enjoyed doing, owning up to both my successes and my flaws alike, and knowing that I face the consequences of my own actions. I began to see a better me. I became more happy, calm and composed. I could be angry over a situation for a few moment, but I resolved never to allow my anger dwell within me or rule over me. Anger is a cankerworm…it eats deep, dominates you, and control you. I am glad I can say that I survived that phase.

Speaking from experience now (clears throat…yes I am experienced in this). Anger Management is training for temper control. It is a skill. An art. I have seen people get angry and do the unimaginable which they end up regretting, most times, I pity them. I know what they are dealing with. But, you have to set yourself free to be free indeed...

Here are some useful tips:

1.    Never bear anger or hate in your mind for so long.

2.    If you have to, deal with it calmly.

3.    Never bear a grudge.

4.    Walk away when your temper is about to get the better of you.

5.    Happiness is a feeling of freedom, replace the anger with happiness.

6.    You can talk to a confidant (It helps. Speaking about it helps) or attend anger management classes and other therapeutic sessions.

7.    Pray about it.

These are my few tips. I hope I have been able to use my story to send a message.

So guys, please share your story. What are the worse things you have done while angry? What steps did you take to control your temper? Someone once said in the comment section that I should speak about drug addiction so as to help people going through it…HUH? I’ll try. I’ll research, and one of these days, it’ll make it here.

N.B - For private correspondences, please send your mails to barbiegirlie2003@gmail.com. Be sure that I'll reply asap.

Enjoy the rest of your week sweethearts.

Barby.