OF COMMITMENT AND STUPIDITY

Today is one of those rare occasions when I have no idea as to what this article's title should be, even though I have thought it through for a while. No befitting title comes to my head. One of the reason for this is because I'm kinda pissed...Not with you guys, not with myself, but with the story that forms the background of this article.

I'm sure some of the media savvy people here might have read it somewhere, or heard about it from someone. I knew there was fire on the mountain somewhere, but I never really took my time to read what the hullabaloo was all about (reading is educating really. Never ignore any piece of information you see, you never know how it will help you, or what information you're missing out on). This story is a crazy one, so I'll try to share as best as I can. Note that it is just going to form a background to the major discussion on commitments (YES! We just found a title. Thank God.)

A certain celebrity couple had a major commitment. Let me break it down for you guys...they WERE NOT married. just dating. But the lady happened to be pregnant for him, and they agreed to have the baby, but that would be the last, as they already had a kid before this one. To make permanent their promise to stop having kids, they both agreed for the lady to tie her tubes, while the man would have a vasectomy. Both procedures have a 80% chance of preventing pregnancy and in the long run, having kids.

Tori neva finish oh...

On the day the lady had the baby, the process of tying her tube was done almost immediately, and her boyfriend was there to witness it all. Fast forward to some months after, the two lovebirds could not sustain the relationship anymore, and they had to part ways. The guy met another lady and within months, married the new lady, the new lady became pregnant and they now have a kid together. That was when it dawned on the former girlfriend that her then boyfriend did not have a vasectomy. Triple jeopardy for her. She'll possibly never have kids anymore, she lost the relationship, she lost her womb too! The guy won...he has another baby, he has a new relationship, he has his ''package'' intact and can have a million babies from now till the end of the world if he so desires!!!

Now, I can't deal with stories as silly as these. I just can't. And as much as I hate to say that men are deceitful, I sincerely think it is callous for you to feign ''forgetting'' after I have had my tubes tied. I don't even know who has the most blame here. But there's a valid lesson to be learnt here:
NEVER MAKE PERMANENT DECISIONS WITH TEMPORARY SITUATIONS. NEVER! JUST NEVER!
It doesn't make you less trustworthy, it doesn't mean you do not love the person as much, it just means that life happens and life can happen.

I've heard stories, and I wonder if women (especially) do not learn. Or maybe we are just gullible? Or we love hard? You cannot blame us for loving hard though, maybe we should start loving smart while we are at it.

On this blog, we have been able to successfully establish that love is not all that matters, other things  add up to make everything beautiful. Common sense is one of them. How do you remove something as serious as a vital organ for someone as temporary as a boyfriend? It beats me seriously. And yes, a boyfriend or fiancé is temporal because you either make it permanent, or you lose it (some husbands are even temporal these days sef).

In my opinion, I strongly believe there should be a limit to commitments especially where it concerns a relationship and not marriage. If you make some decision whilst married and things do not work as planned, you can be pardoned for your mistake. But when you begin to act marriage with your boyfriend, by removing your eyes or making some other major life decisions that can make or mar your life in future, O-Y-O is your case.

Don't get me wrong. This has got nothing to do with being unfaithful to one partner, or having to make little compromises here and there for the benefit of the relationship. You should be able to borrow your boyfriend some money to start up a new project that has great prospects, your bf should be able to buy you a car if he has the financial resources to do it, you can also donate a kidney here and there, but that's because you have a spare (I rebuke this situation in your life in Jesus name). In this situation, if the relationship does not work out, you can let it go, and everyone can still go home happy with their heads and legs intact.

I've heard people still do the oath taking thing to secure their relationship. Hehehe I laugh in short hand. Don't be fooled oh. It's the biggest joke ever. If it is that one, please cheat and come and be going, rather than take me to one jazzman to say that if he cheats, he should run mad. Of what use is he to me if he runs mad?

There's a thin line between commitment and foolishness. Very thin line.

I'm trying to think of any time when I have been deceived to do something to show my commitment to a relationship...sincerely, I cannot recall any. For instance, I cannot leave my job and family in Nigeria and travel to the US because one guy there promised to marry me. I'm sorry, I can't. Marry me first mbok. Or maybe borrow my life savings to a guy to buy a house we would live in when we get married (Huh? This one is even very shameful. If we end up not getting married nko? Do I kick him out? With what proof?). I know I've lent a certain dude some cash long ago, but I made it an amount I could forfeit incase he didn't pay back. And no, he wasn't a boyfriend. And yes, he paid back and I collected my money. Shikena.

In this thing called love, you have to be wise oh. So that it is not your story people would be using as a learning point. When next you see that lady being cautious before taking that step, don't blame her, she is just protecting her end too. And when that young man holds up before doing the needful, don't think he loves you less, he may just be evaluating the situation first.

So what crazy thing have you done in the name of commitment? Please share with us, we wouldn't judge you. I just hope this story will help you make rational decisions next time...

Love, love.
Barby.