FORGIVING CHEATING

Hi Guys, top of the day to you! How was the loooooonnnng break? Trust me, I enjoyed mine and I didn't want it to end. I wish everyday can be a holiday. (Un)fortunately, we have to work; for the money and the satisfaction it brings. Interestingly, money looks good on everyone, and I have never met one person who money doesn't sit pretty on (please show me if you know one.)

You remember that article I wrote about cheating? Where I gave a story of a married man who impregnated a side chick? Well, Mr. Married man took to social media yesterday to publicly apologize to his wife and seek her forgiveness. Sounds good right? Social media was turn between if the lady should forgive him or if she shouldn't.

Well, as its our usual fashion, I'm not going to make this article about them (the story is so stale and has become over-flogged) but let's talk about ''FORGIVING CHEATING''.

Dear friends, pray not to be in a cheating situation because it is a very dicey and sensitive one. In a relationship, it's easy (not so easy though) to stand up and walk and enter the next relationship and stand up and walk and keeping walking till God knows when, but in marriage; where both parties have promised each other ''till death do us part'', the situation is different and difficult, very difficult. Let no one be deceived that walking out on your marriage and partner because he/she cheated is easy, it is not and those who choose to stay back should not be judged, they most times have their valid reasons for doing so.

There are a lot of issues to consider when a spouse has cheated...

Personally; you need to search your heart and find out if you can forgive the person. It's your choice to make, let no one make it for you and let no one pressure you into what is obtainable ''worldwide'' because it is only he who wears the shoe that knows where it hurts, and, to each his own. Secondly, it may not be easy to forget, which in my opinion is understandable, but can you live with the thought and with him? This question is very necessary to avoid putting yourself, and by extension your partner through hard times in future (especially if the cheating spouse has changed and has become faithful), if you cannot live with the thought and if living together would be hell, no need living in bondage and unhappiness, just move on please.

For the cheating spouse, you have to ask questions; was he lured by her or did he lure her? Are they (married man and side chick) willing to part ways? Is there a child between them? If there is, what is his plan as regards the kid? Is there a likelihood of your spouse and his baby mama rekindling their affair? Is there a likelihood of ''it'' happening again with someone else? All these and many more questions need to be addressed and settled.

In all, there are no hard and fast rules. We all react to issues differently and our reactions should be respected. While one person may just keep quiet and continue life, the other may need time to digest and heal. It's even more difficult for the innocent partner if he/she is a religious person whose religion preaches forgiveness and frowns at divorce. The world will be waiting to judge their every action.

I always feel for the innocent partner. Cheating is really a lot to digest and understand. Personally, I think forgiveness is inevitable especially when it is a first time (if it is chronic, please just move away quickly. Life is too precious and short to be unhappy) and if kids are involved too, they have to be put in the picture. I'll also need a reassurance that it wouldn't happen again (CAVEAT: THIS IS NOT A GO AHEAD FOR LE BOO TO CHEAT AT LEAST ONCE OH!!! LOL). I have a problem with dealing with complex situations, I might just break down, so of course, I'll need time to heal and breathe before we get back to normal.

How about you? Can you forgive cheating? How many times? Would you encourage separation for a while so that the couple can rethink, probably settle and get back together?

Please share your thoughts...
Barby.