The Travails of a Working Single Girl (2)

Personally, I think that the pressure on young ladies to get married in this part of our world is unfair.

Although the biological clock does not tick in their favor, please afford them the opportunity to be mentally and physically ready for the huge step. I am not one of dem ladies who would get herself  worked up because of this marriage issue and I advice all single ladies to do same.

There's nothing like ''You don finish school, where is the man?'' Please did you send me to school to hook a man? I thought it is books they read in school, when did that change to the study of man? I didn't get the memo. Sorry.

Me I sha wouldn't subscribe to such nonsense from anyone, especially outsiders (I can give excuses for parents and siblings but anyone aside them should take several seats abeg). Have you noticed that it is even the outsiders that are more ''concerned'' than your parents and siblings? When the see you at your friend's wedding, they ask you questions like ''when we dey come chop your own rice oh'' (must you get married before you can offer them a plate of rice and chicken if that's what they care so much about in this life??? It beats me seriously) or ''you no dey go husband house?'' Really? Please just tell me you aren't serious about that question? Lol, life is not that serious jor. You guys should chill.

My darling singles, don't fall for these pressures oh, they are just set up. If you think you are reasonably old and should be married already, pray to God and wait on him. But if you are just outta school and got a job, do you. Don't be pressurized. If the right man comes along during the time, marry him, if not, do things that you can be proud of and he would be proud of when he comes along; get more degrees, climb your career ladder, invest in properties, travel and treat yourself to some good stuffs. DO NOT RUSH INTO MARRIAGE and do not fall into the wrong hands because you were so in a hurry, a man can spot a desperate woman from a distance. Do not go and suffer for free what others are enjoying in peace. The ''world people'' that made you rush wouldn't be there when you get in and you need to joggle between work and the family. They'll not be there when you so want to breathe fresh air on a vacation in some serene location but you cannot go because there's the kid and the husband to put into consideration (sometimes, I just want to be alone from everybody. It happens to you too right?). They'll not be there when your Boss gives you a warning signal that you have become less productive at work due to your combined duties as wife, mother and career woman. My dear, I pray for a good home for all of us and I want to enjoy marriage, parenthood and motherhood, but, I am not so much in a hurry that I would then miss my singlehood. Mbanu!

Recently, Wendy Williams suggested that ladies should build their careers in their twenties and get married in their thirties and this became a debate on many social platforms. While I would not want to put an age bracket to when a single girl should get married, I would say its best to have explored life PURPOSEFULLY before delving into marriage. The reason for this is not far-fetched. Marriage requires a whole lot of sacrifice; for the sake of your family and kids. If you are someone who hasn't lived life before getting married, you'll just hate yourself and in no time, you'll begin to transfer the aggression and frustration on your family. Who you help? I read an article somewhere and the lady who is 27 years old now, said she got married at 23, she has two kids and she is already tired of everything (this is not a case of domestic abuse or the likes oh). All the aspirations she had growing up were not fulfilled because she had to truncate them at some point for the sake of her family. She wish she had waited a little longer and fulfilled her dreams before getting married. This story scares the shit outta me. How do you already get tired of marriage at 27? As in 1, 2, 3...27 kwa? Your life should have just begun by then. You should be full of life and smiles now. If you fall in this category, it is never too late to pick up from where you stopped. Do things that make you happy and rejuvenate yourself.

PS---There's no hard and fast rule to all of this, infact, this is not a one story fits all kind of thing. For each, his own. Therefore, your story can be different. Omotola Jalade-Ekeinde got married quite early, she glows everyday. You may have her kind of story, I may too. But the discourse here is that ladies shouldn't succumb to societal pressure to get married quick. Enjoy your youthfulness. Further your education, visit new places, rise in your career and be better for yourself, because when marriage comes, the whole story changes, it will never be about YOU anymore, it'll be about putting your family first and you wouldn't want to be the last to do so.

NOTE: Single as used here means ''unmarried'' and not a relationship status. So please don't bite me...lol.
Please share your experiences and views in the comment section, We await you.
Barby.